Life isn’t always like milk and honey. We can’t prevent bad things from happening and unpleasant events, such as divorce, are sometimes inevitable. They cause an avalanche of emotions, and the best we can do is learn how to cope with them. Be careful with your emotions, the way you process them affects whether you’ll feel happy or you’ll blend with your sadness. It’s important to properly deal with negative emotions caused by divorce, or the consequences will reflect on your mental health.
Once you recognise that negative emotions are starting to get to you, it’s important to cope with them healthily. In this case, a clean breakup is necessary for your mental health. Here are some ways in which you can cope with negative emotions caused by divorce.
1. Don’t neglect your emotional needs
It’s okay to feel sad and cry during this rough time. Try not to suppress your emotions as they can negatively affect your health. It’s important to take care of your wellbeing, and stop neglecting your physical, spiritual, and mental health.
Always be kind to yourself. Try doing things you love, such as going for a long walk, watching your favourite film, or listening to music. Try keeping a journal– each night, before you go to bed, write one nice thing about yourself or of the previous day. At the end of the week, read them and remind yourself that not everything is as bad as it seems.
2. Surround yourself with friends
In cases of trauma such as divorce, our natural defense mechanism seeks isolation. Even when life gets tough, there are people we can rely on. And no matter what, we know they will be there for us when we’re feeling down.
So it’s important to get in touch with friends and family members who make you feel like you’re not going through this alone. A good coping mechanism is talking about your problems with people you have trust in. Having people who understand you and make you feel better is an essential part of the healing process and getting over the trauma.
3. Managing fears
It’s normal to have some fears while you’re in the process of divorce. What will happen to me afterwards? Will I be able to manage on my own? Will anyone ever want me again? What if I stay sad forever? are all common questions people ask themselves while going through such a situation. Try talking about your fears with friends and family members that went through similar situations.
But If you don’t feel comfortable sharing such insecurities try the following activity to manage your fears. Take a blank piece of paper and draw a chart with four columns titled “Fears” “Probability of it happening” “Are they avoidable” “How will they impact my life”. Rate each fear on a scale from 1 to 5 and compare them. This will help you rationalise your fears and priorities, find possible solutions if there are any; if not, you don’t need to worry about them at all. This method is used in therapy, so any time you’re in a doubt take a look at your chart.
4. Look for the positive aspects
Even though everything seems dark now, try searching for a positive outcome of the situation. Looking for positives is hard, and they might not be obvious at first sight, but keep trying. A big part of moving on is having a positive outlook on life. It’s okay to grieve and move on at the same time, but as time passes, more and more energy is available for the other aspects of your life.
Don’t hold onto problems that are beyond your control. Let go, and you’ll feel so much happier. Making a clean cut in the process is important. Accept that it is over, and try to move on. No matter what reason behind the divorce is, forgive yourself and your ex-partner for the sake of your health, and take that burden off your chest.
5. Seek advice from professionals
If you’re getting divorced, you surely have some questions regarding legal rights, such as “What will happen with the kids?” “Who gets the house?” “How will I manage my finances?” and so on. These types of questions carry a great amount of uncertainty which causes anxiety.
To reduce this unpleasant feeling, consider contacting reliable family lawyers who carry the answers. They can help you with your questions regarding divorce, child support, financial and property settlements, etc. You can relax knowing your case is in good hands.
6. Meditation, relaxation, and physical activity
So, you’re going through a divorce and all you want to do is lay in bed? We all know how hard it is to stay physically active while being sad, but don’t neglect your health. Go for a walk with a friend or hit up a gym. You’ll definitely feel better.
If you don’t have time for such an activity, try meditating. After a long day of work, there’s nothing better than to sit quietly and relax. Learn some breathing techniques which will help you keep your emotions under the control.
Even though divorce is a painful time of your life, these coping mechanisms can help you get through it in the healthiest way possible. Accept, let go and move on, but don’t neglect your mental health along the way. Give yourself permission to feel sad, but don’t forget that the sun always comes after the rain.