Step In to Save Her: How to Talk to a Loved One about Substance Abuse

Substance Abuse - Save Her

Recognizing a problem and treating it sounds simple, on paper. Sitting down with your loved one to tell her you’re worried about her substance abuse seems like the logical thing to do. But if it were that easy, there wouldn’t be so many people out there who are still suffering. People have emotions, and substance abuse affects the people around the abuser almost as much as it affects the abuser herself, so it’s difficult to step outside the situation and have a logical discussion. However, you must – before your loved one suffers from serious health or behavior consequences.

“Script” the Intervention

Before you confront your loved one, who might prove defensive and unwilling to cooperate when initially asked to hear what you have to say, consider what you want to say at the intervention. Write it down.

Tell her how her substance abuse affects her and the people around her. Tell her about the healing power of residential group care. Tell her how substance abuse could continue to affect her health and her life. Give her hope for a better future with what you have to say. Practice this script with other friends and family who will join you on the day.

Check Negativity at the Door

Your loved one’s substance abuse impacts your life. You may be stressed and feel sick and exhausted both mentally and physically because of it. But you must do your best to put your anger aside when you stage an intervention. Letting your loved one know how her behavior has hurt you is fine, but bring the focus back to your positive hope for the future.

You have a right to be angry and upset, but the intervention is neither the time nor the place for focusing on your feelings – but do seek other counseling for yourself. Focus on your loved one at the intervention and she’ll prove less defensive because she won’t feel as attacked.

Get a Professional’s Help

If possible, ask a counselor or therapist to attend your intervention. Since he won’t be emotionally invested in the situation and has the skills necessary to keep the conversation focused and healthy, he’ll prove a valuable addition. Some facilities may offer to have the counselor oversee the intervention by phone or online video if one can’t attend in person.

If you can’t get a therapist, or even if you can, get as many friends of your loved one to attend as possible. The more people whom your loved one admires who are there to support and encourage her, the more likely she is to remain calm and see the impact of her actions on those around her.

Treatment facilities are used to hearing stories about how difficult it is to stage an intervention, and are willing to provide tips to help you get to that point. In most cases, your loved one has to recognize she has a problem and wants to change before anything can be done. Simply wishing your loved one would get help won’t save her – only stepping in and convincing her will.